Date: 11 Feb, 2023
Demisexual is one who experiences sexual attraction to another person only after forming a strong emotional connection with them.
In terms of who we are attracted to and how frequently we feel sexual desire, sexuality is a continuum. Others identify as asexual, or “ace,” which means they have little to no sexual desire. Some people identify as allosexual, which means they frequently feel sexual attraction. It’s crucial to understand that the term “asexuality” is a catch-all. So, if you believe that “asexual” doesn’t adequately represent your sexual orientation, there are other terms you can use. Demisexuality is one way that you could self-identify within the asexual community.
[Read – How many types of sexual orientations are there]
You might be asking yourself. How did you not know that these sexual orientations existed?
It can be difficult to realise for the one who might be experiencing the same things are fairly heteronormative. In the sections that follow, we go over all you need to know about demisexuality. Including warning indications that you might be one, resources for demisexuals, and how it relates to other sexual orientations.
What then is demisexuality?
Asexuality.org claims that there are two types of sexual attraction: primary and secondary. The primary sexual attraction is said to be “based on the instantaneously available information (such as someone’s look or fragrance)”. Demisexual people rely nearly entirely on secondary attraction. That is why it could take them longer to feel genuinely interested in their partner. This implies that you might need to go on numerous dates and develop a genuine emotional connection before moving further.
Is it possible to identify as both a demisexual and a different sexual orientation?
Yes! When it comes to your sexual attraction, you can identify as heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian, bi, pan, or demisexual.
Demisexual and bisexual individuals are both possible. Although they may be drawn to both men and women, they truly only want to have sex once they have developed an emotional connection with someone.
People on the asexual spectrum frequently use the prefixes hetero, homo, bi, and pan to indicate the gender of the person they are attracted to romantically. For instance, a bi-romantic or demisexual person may be drawn to others of different sex or gender. But only if they have developed an emotional bond with them first.
What telltale indicators might you be demisexual?
You may be demisexual if you hardly ever experience sexual attraction to strangers or people you’ve never met. It’s possible that you are initially drawn to a person’s personality or emotional compatibility rather than their outward appearance.
The knowledge that they are seeking that emotional connection is frequently the biggest indicator for demisexual people. And it’s frequently when they’re dating someone that they realise, “Now I’m ready, or want to, or am having sexual desire for this person, but it’s because we first had this emotional attachment.”
Demisexual people frequently identify as asexual until realising that demisexuality is a better description of who they are after they begin to form closer, more intimate connections.
Your relationships may begin as close friendships that allow you to get to know someone and, possibly, begin to feel more intense, passionate feelings for them. Demisexual folks are more likely to meet others when they join clubs that interest them or get involved in the community. They actually gain from meeting individuals in person.
But even if you do develop an emotional connection with someone, being attracted to them sexually isn’t a given. A deeper relationship can develop with time. But there is no specific period of time because everyone is unique and has a unique experience.
Listening to yourself and your feelings is the first step. You alone are the best qualified to judge your sexual orientation. You may find that “demisexual” is a fine way to identify yourself after doing further research. Or you may discover another phrase that more accurately captures your feelings. Allow yourself some time and space to investigate your emotions.
Intimacy entails much more than just sex, even though it could take some time to become physically intimate with someone.
Is there a pride flag for demisexual people?
Yes! It resembles the asexual pride flag a lot. On the left side, it has a black triangle, along with four horizontal white, purple, and grey lines. The black colour stands for the asexual community. The grey colour for demisexuality and grey asexuality. The white colour is for allies and partners who are not asexual, and the purple colour is for the community.
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