Date: 11 Apr, 2022
Hey man, why so depressed?
We have always portrayed men as stronger than the opposite sex. Check any part of the history for instance. Since times immemorial, all warriors, achievers were men. There was hardly a woman who we remember for her bravery. Whenever a situation demanded someone strong, everyone looked up to the man. It was the man who displayed his strength, whether physical, mental, or emotional. He became a pillar for the others, no matter how weak he felt inside. Today is no different.
This happens because our culture has always conditioned men to be more aggressive. It has forced men to put on a brave face, and never talk about feelings, which might be a sign of weakness. Not every man is the same though. Many men are expressive and thoughtful. Hence, they are able to express how their feelings, and some are even able to tell the reason as well. But sufferers are the ones, who don’t express.
When a man suffers anger, irritability and mood swings, it gives a bad impact on his health. Not only that, but the people around him also suffer, especially his partner or spouse. While it happens to men of all ages, such behaviour is at its peak in cases during midlife. In fact, the reason for such behaviour might be a variety of factors unique to men between 40 and 50. Also, it might be due to their mental and physical health changes. Career and financial challenges can be another reason. As a consequence, it could make their family life and relationship stressful.
Is man ‘the chosen one’?
Nope. While men suffer hard times, women are no exception. Women face such issues too, especially in their midlife, like men. In comparison to this, women have always been expressive. They experience sadness, hopelessness and inadequacy in their midlife. Along with this, there is excessive crying and fatigue, in many other cases. Even then, the truth is that men are more vulnerable to losing control or having angry outbursts.
In some cases, anger may be an aftereffect of hurt, failure and shame, and may feel more acceptable as a ‘male’ emotion. Eventually, this anger can also become a habit and affect their relationships too.
Then, why? Pray, tell!!
Some men are attuned to what may be causing anger and upset in their lives. While many others may not even be aware of how stressful they are being. They might not have any clue about the impact stress has on their physical and emotional health. They don’t have any idea if any others factors are affecting their behaviour, and mental health as well.
There are many problems in common that men face. We’ll discuss them one by one.
Counting disappointments
All his life, the man had been earning bread and butter for his family. He had been working day and night for the responsibilities that he was bound to. Then, there were his own dreams and ambitions, that was his responsibility to himself. And he kept trying to achieve them along with his other duties.
But as he reaches mid-life, the man starts assessing his achievements and failures. He keeps going through all his accomplishments and tries. While doing so, he counts not only business endeavours but his relationships as well.
Negative attitude of Depression
Assessing is one thing. It is still fine if he explores it all with a healthy perspective, but that’s not what usually happens. Like everyone else, most of the men choose to concentrate only on the bad part. They feel sad about their losses and failures. They would internalize it and they choose to focus only on their life’s disappointments. Thus, they grieve for them and often be susceptible to depression.
Ageing
With ageing comes the awareness of mortality. Many men find it difficult to deal with this new realisation. The lost time and opportunities start becoming a problem. As a result, thoughts of sadness and loss start fueling anger and frustration. This in turn impacts their behaviour and relationships.
Impact on sex drive/life
Irrespective of age, sex is an essential need, not only physical but emotional too. The natural decline of male hormones such as testosterone and androgen with age matter a lot. While this hormonal change is gradual. It doesn’t usually produce noticeable symptoms. But, dropping hormonal levels may cause irritability in men. It may also affect their self-esteem, confidence and happiness. But most importantly, it affects their sex drive, bringing them a feeling of loss.
Whether the decline of testosterone affects a male’s ‘sex drive’, is a topic of controversy. But, a lack of fulfilment in a relationship certainly makes it stressful. This in turn brings out aggressive and destructive behaviour in a few men. Not only that, it may affect his confidence and masculinity, if it lasts longer. They may also suffer from depression then.
Well, it is what it is! We all will age and there will be changes in our physical and emotional strengths. If we know that life is going to happen anyway, how about having a positive outlook and taking it as it comes? Won’t it give us a better opportunity to enjoy every phase of life?
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