Emotional Distress of Men ￼

Date: 02 Mar, 2022

The other day, I heard these two middle aged men talking in the park. One was telling the other about the sadness, the loneliness and the emotional distress and depression on relationships he was feeling in his life these days. ‘Everyone is there, my wife, my kids, but they are all busy in their own world. I feel lonely. It looks like I am not required anymore.’

It is not a single case. Most of the men feel like this after reaching a certain age. Like every other case, there are reasons for this problem as well. All the youth goes into being ambitious, achieving more, never getting enough of anything. They never seem to have time for anything, not for their family, not even for themselves.

Age brings change

The irony is that it looks fine then. In fact, that looks like the best way of living to some people. But when they reach their 40s, it becomes difficult to carry on with that lifestyle. Now, rest and comfort become priority, and little things give more fun than usual.

But, the family….

While men feel a change in their lives and want to bring change in their lifestyle and way of working, their family is usually not on the same page. The kids are all grown up and busy with their studies and friends. His wife has also crossed her 40s already and she has become carefree. The devotional woman who would wait for hours so she could serve fresh dinner to her husband, now puts the food in a hot case and goes to sleep. He used to be welcomed, no matter what time he reached home, now has to keep his own keys. The wife and kids are inside, but they are either sleeping or studying. No one is waiting for him like in the good old days, when the wife would open the door with a sweet smile, no matter what time he arrived. The Emotional Distress is on the rise. The kids would not go to sleep until they have talked to him and the wife would sit with him until he is ready to go to bed.

It looks like the family and the man of the house change in the opposite directions. Most of the men feel that love between the spouses becomes less. They feel their bond of love shaken, feelings weakened, loneliness and care for them gone for a toss and the are in silent depression.

With such observations and thoughts in mind, it is obvious for the man to feel sad and lonely then.

Relationship strife

The only thing men want after a certain age is someone’s love and attention. It becomes the need of their life, the cure to all their problems. Lack of fulfilment in a relationship are among the top most stressful things for a man that would lead to anger, aggression, loneliness and other destructive behaviours. A relationship that brings out the worst in a man may erode his self-confidence and feelings of masculinity over time and can lead to deepening depression.

No more attention

The biggest problem with aging is that it is never accepted with grace. We forget that aging is a process and it is destined to happen. What men do instead is, they try to seek the same attention they used to get in their young age. That is still okay, but sometimes it gets worse, when they try to grab attention of the younger ones, especially from the opposite sex. Well, everyone has their own expectations and dreams about their love life, so middle-aged men don’t usually succeed and such times disappoint them more.

They feel disheartened and sometimes lose their self esteem too.

So, what’s the solution?

Now that we have discussed almost all the possibilities of a man’s emotional distress after 40, you must be wondering what solution is suggested for loneliness and the depression around that. Well, the solution is simple.

First of all, we need to accept the change in life. Until we accept that things are not going to be like they were, nothing good can happen.
Never push your family into doing something they don’t want. It only widens the gap. Rather, being available when they want you helps more.
Every area has a few clubs with different agenda. How about joining one such club where you can be engaged in interesting activities and get to know new people as well?
Making new friends always looks appealing and keeps us away from depression. But it will be, if you make friends with like-minded people.

The most important point to remember is that life is short.

And trying to make it happy means half of the work is done. So, have that intention to make your life happy and you will find better ways to achieve what you want.

Our Previous Blogs:

– Prescriptions of a Healthy Relationship