Date: 28 Jul, 2022
If you’ve ever been cheated by the partner, your first belief was likely, “why?” The consequences of infidelity are numerous. And it is natural to want to know why your partner chose to cheat. There could be a variety of reasons, and various types of infidelity and cheating could shed some light on those reasons.
What Is Infidelity?
The act of being unfaithful to a partner is referred to as infidelity. It usually refers to having sexual or romantic relations with someone other than one’s significant other.
Each and every case of infidelity is unusual and serves a diverse definition. Although knowing why a partner cheated is unlikely to alleviate your pain, being able to rationalize and define the behavior will. It can also make you feel more confident about moving on from the situation. Whether that means working on healing your relationship or moving on if you decide to split up.
Learn more about the five types of infidelity and what to do if you are the victim of it in the sections below.
Opportunistic Infidelity
When a person is in love and attached to their partner, they may succumb to their sexual desire for someone else. This type of cheating is typically motivated by situational possibilities or opportunity. According to social psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato, “Not every act of infidelity is planned and motivated by discontent with a current relationship. Perhaps they were thrown into an unexpected opportunity.”
The more in love a person is with their partner, the more guilt they will feel as a result of their sexual encounter. However, as the fear of being caught fades, so do feelings of guilt.
Directed Infidelity
This type of infidelity is motivated by the fear of being rejected if you resist someone’s sexual advances. People who have sexual desire, love, and attachment for a partner may cheat because they have a strong need for approval. Furthermore, their need for approval can cause them to act in ways that contradict their other emotions. In other words, some people cheat not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes with being noticed by others.
Romantic Infidelity
“Sometimes (but not always), a deficit in an existing relationship leads to extradyadic affairs,” DiDonato explains. When a cheater has little emotional attachment to their partner, this infidelity occurs. They may be committed to making their marriage work. But they yearn for an intimate, loving connection with someone else. Their commitment to the marriage will most likely prevent them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity causes pain for both the other man or woman and the cheating partner. It rarely leads to a long-term and committed relationship. Before a spouse will leave the marriage for another person, the marital problems must be severe.
Conflicted Romantic Infidelity
When people feel genuine love and sexual desire for more than one person at the same time, they commit infidelity. Despite our idealistic notions of only having one true love, it is possible to feel intense romantic love for more than one person at the same time. While such situations are emotionally possible, they are extremely complicated and cause a great deal of anxiety and stress. In this case, cheating partners frequently end up hurting everyone in their attempt not to cause anyone harm.
Commemorative Infidelity
When a person is in a committed relationship but has no feelings for their partner, this type of infidelity occurs. There is no sexual desire, love, or attachment between the couple. Only a sense of obligation holds them together. “Lack of attachment and lack of loyalty to a current romantic companion are both linked to general sentiments of relationship discontentment,” DiDonato explains.
These people justify cheating by telling themselves that they have the right to seek out. It happens when they are lacking in their current relationship. Unfulfilled sexual desires can easily play a role in this situation.
It is critical that the current relationship lasts for the sake of appearances. Because the cheater does not want to be seen as a failure, they stay in an unhappy relationship and seek to meet their needs outside of the relationship.
Next Steps After Being Cheated On
Now that you’ve hopefully cleared up any confusion, it’s up to you to decide what steps to take next. Marriages and relationships can survive infidelity, but the type of infidelity and the amount of work you’re both willing to put in will determine whether or not yours does. It goes without saying that an opportunistic cheater will cheat regardless of how many times their deception is discovered and forgiven. However, just because your spouse cheated once doesn’t mean they won’t cheat again, so keep that in mind when deciding what steps to take next.
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