Date: 14 Feb, 2022
One of the private institutions recently published a study in which they claimed that loneliness is more than twice as likely to have mental problems. If we consider the point on which the loneliness and mental health problems issues intersect, it is a tricky one in particular and the relationship between these two is casual for most of the population. Some people won’t be able to find a place in social gatherings due to their mental illness and they won’t be able to socialise which leads to loneliness.
A 30-year-old girl shared a thought of her loneliness. It starts from the mental disorder and depression for which she is taking antidepressants and lives alone in the city. She stated that she’s been always a lonely person. Her mental health suffered more loss when she broke up with her fiancé. Having a mental health problem is lonely because you always feel like you have to explain to yourself at certain times and always fail to engage with people and tell them what you feel. If we won’t get someone who tries hard on us then it can be isolating and we won’t be articulate how we feel. From a teen to a university student, she has always been lonely. Homesickness killed her, she stated. Sometimes living in busy cities also leads to anxiety and loneliness because people here miss the basic interactions and availability are on the weekends only.
She tries to come over with loneliness and ends up buying too much of clothes that she doesn’t wanna wear.
She has a very monotonous life. It involves a long commute to the office. Sometimes struggles to wake up and ends up losing the bus. The office hours are quite busy and the obviously photogenic dating apps won’t help. If she write in her bio that she has mental health problems, no one is gonna right swipe her.
In the office, it’s the same conversations every day and you’ll never feel connecting to them on a deeper level. A whole day at work and get back home. It’s lonely feeling like I don’t really have real connections with people on a human level.
She sometimes goes to pubs on her own and scrolling over the social apps, you get to know your friend is on vacation, one is getting married, one is having kids and you feel more depressed about it. She end up drinking a little extra and that’s the only time she feels happy. She try to spend too much time on social applications. She is well aware of the fact that social media is not necessarily a full story, but still has an effect on me because she’s struggled with self-confidence and body confidence.
It’s hard for people to understand how someone who lives in a big developed city and has a job can be lonely.
When we share with someone and tell them we are lonely, the first thing they suggest is “Get yourself a man” and that’s not what she wanted to hear. She wasn’t alone because she doesn’t have a partner. It’s because of a variety of reasons. We need to be selective about who to talk to about these things because many times we don’t get a positive reaction.
If you accept the fact that you’re feeling lonely, it’s really important to remember that these feelings are temporary. We always have to remember that tomorrow is a better day or might be better than the previous one. Finding a hobby helps – cooking, art galleries, comedy shows, or walking. If the evenings are lonely, then be your partner. Enjoy your company. Call your old friends and try to have a conversation with them. And in my view, literature has the solution of everything, go with the books or movies. And always use social media – sensibly – too.